Milonga Etiquette


The pure joy of dancing tango is found at the milonga. A milonga refers to the event where tangos, milongas and waltzes are danced.

What is a Tanda?
At a milonga, music is played in sets called "tandas." Usually three or four songs are played by the same orchestra followed by the "cortina" (the curtain) which signals the end of the tanda. If you ask someone to dance and they accept, it is assumed that it will be for the entire tanda.

Cortinas are an interesting little detail at a milonga. A cortina is unique to each DJ. Some will select one cortina for an evening and some will use a different one for each tanda. Some are humorous; some are grating on the ears; some are simply beautiful music. In any case, the cortina is supposed to be a piece of music that people know not to dance to. It's your signal to smile, say thank you and (possibly) change partners

How Someone Asks for a Dance
In Argentina, men ask women to dance with a look—a certain glance, movement of the head toward the dance floor or smile that says, "Dance with me?"  This can take place from far across the room if the right eyes are caught. If a woman wants to accept a dance with a man, she smiles back and (most important) keeps looking at him while he approaches her. The slightest glance away is usually interpreted as meaning "I've changed my mind and don't want to dance." This system is very wonderful and full of pitfalls. What if the asker is looking at the woman behind you?  Did you really see a "yes" or a "maybe?"

Because we are caught up in this Argentine art form, the practice of asking people to dance with the eyes is also followed to some extent. In many areas of the world, however, you may ask someone to dance directly or with your best Argentine eyes. As in the dance, practice makes perfect.

Accepting a Dance or Saying "No, thank you"
Accepting a dance is as simple as saying "yes." You can do this with your eyes—be on the look out for people who ask the Argentine way—or by accepting a direct invitation.

It is also perfectly acceptable to say, "No, thank you." If you accept a dance remember it will probably last for the remainder of the tanda that is playing—three or four songs if you start at the beginning. If either one of you decides that one or two dances is enough, however, either person can simply say "thank you" and begin leaving the dance floor. Once you say "thank you" to someone in a polite manner, the dance with that person is over.



Before entering the dance floor while dancing is in progress, the leader entering should make eye contact with the leader of the couple in front of whom he is about to enter the line of dance.  A nod from the advancing leader signals that you are “OK” to enter.

Do not cut in front of other couples in the same line of dance while dancing.  The other leader is planning his patterns ahead of time and is relying on the space in front of him to execute them.

Dancing at a Milonga as a Beginner
As a beginner, you'll either be eager to dance with everyone or hesitant to be seen as a beginner. If you're eager to dance, go for it. Just remember that tango is danced in lanes that keep moving and the more experienced dancers tend to stay toward the outside. If you're hesitant, I can guarantee you that everyone in the room has been a beginner at one time and understands how nerve wracking it can be to look around and see everyone gliding by when you only know three movements. Even someone who has been dancing for only two weeks longer than you have will look like they've been at it for years longer. I can't explain it; it always looks like that.

The way to become a good dancer is to show up and dance. As Woody Allen once said, "98 percent of success is showing up."

Respect ... the person you are dancing with
Respect ... the culture & heritage of Tango
Respect ... the music & the band
Respect ... the people around you

Personal hygiene is essential for an enjoyable dancing experience. Bad breath, body odor and excessive perspiration are common offenders.  Be sensitive to your fellow dancers.  Excessive use of cologne, perfume or any chemical can be just as offending, and never a replacement for bathing.
Dress appropriately for the event.For a milonga, dress up a little.  You cannot go wrong with black; tango is an elegant dance.  For a practica, dress comfortably and sensibly.  Be tasteful; avoid displaying any body parts not generally acceptable in public.  Wear shoes with heels to help properly distribute your weight forward; they should also allow you to turn on the ball of your foot with ease – this applies to the gentlemen as well.  If you wear accessories or jewelry, make sure they do not turn into assault weapons while dancing.

 If you are interested in dancing, show your intentions.Excuse yourself and stand by the edge of the dance floor to let others know of your intentions; if you are with a group or at a table, that might prevent others from approaching you.  Do not expect someone to interrupt your conversation with another.  Try not to carry on a prolonged conversation if you are close to the edge of the dance floor, give room to those looking to dance.

Always ask for a dance in a polite manner, whether verbally or non-verbally.It is acceptable for a follower to initiate a dance offer.  It is also a nice touch to introduce yourself.  Seek out those looking to dance, avoid bothering anyone who has no desire to dance.  If you must interrupt a conversation for a dance, do so discreetly.  Never go out to the dance floor and then motion someone to join you.

 If you must decline a dance offer, do so sincerely.It is not an offense to sit out a song or two.  Sitting out a song means never to accept another invitation for the same song that you have declined from someone else.  The best way to decline an offer is to not get one in the first place; stay engaged in activities, like conversation, that deter others from asking.

Gracefully accept any rejection to a dance offer.If the same person denied your offers several times within the same event, take the hint that the person may have no interest in dancing with you.  One’s presence at a dance event is not an obligation to dance with everyone.

The leader always escorts the follower onto the dance floor, regardless of who initiated the offer.It is also customary for the leader and follower to meet up by the edge of the dance floor, mostly from a non-verbal invitation.

When proceeding onto the dance floor, do so cautiously.Dancers on the dance floor always have the right of way.  Never walk across the dance floor while other people are dancing.

 Accepting to dance is an obligation to dance the entire song.One never terminates the dance pre-maturely, unless there is significant reason.  A person dancing below your expectation is not a significant reason.  If you must pre-maturely terminate a dance, do so without making a scene.

Dancing multiple songs in a row with the same partner is common practice.If you decide to dance another song, it is not necessary to thank your partner.  In Argentina, thanking your partner signifies your desire to conclude the dance.  However, in the United States, it is quite common for partners to say thanks between songs.  So, if you wish to conclude a dance at the end of a song, gesture or discreetly inform your partner that you wish to stop.  Never turn around abruptly to leave the dance floor to conclude the dance.  If a live band is performing, face the stage and applaud after each song.

Respect your partner at all times during the dance.It is rather common to dance close in tango, but it's not a requirement.  Dancing close is not an invitation for inappropriate behavior.  Be sensitive to your partner’s comfort level with their personal space.

Customarily, talking is inappropriate while dancing tango.
Talk between songs or when off the dance floor.  If you must talk on the floor, keep it to a minimum.  It is especially inappropriate to talk on the floor while a live band is performing.

Never conduct any teaching or practicing at a milonga; save that for apractica.If you must show someone a step, never do so on the main area of the dance floor; find a side area that does not obstruct the other dancers.
Under no circumstances should you correct your partner while on the dance floor.One can only correct one's partner during a class or practica; and then, only if requested.  It it never acceptable to correct someone in a milonga.
Tango is a traveling dance; the line of dance is counter clockwise.One must maintain common dance flow when dancing at the outer perimeter; if you find yourself interrupting the dance flow, move toward the center to let others pass.

 Respect other dancers’ space.Experienced dancers should give novice dancers the room they need.  Novice dancers should stay closer to the center of the dance floor to give experienced dancers their space.  Experienced dancers wanting to perform steps that interrupt the dance flow should do so toward the center of the floor.

Be conscientious and courteous to your fellow dancers.Proceed cautiously to avoid bumping into other dancers.  If you do, apologize and try to slow down, recollect yourself, and be more careful.

Use proper judgment when on a crowded dance floor.Only execute steps that do not violate other dancers’ space.  Avoid any steps that could potentially hurt others; this is the time to use one's milonguero knowledge.

 Respect your partner’s dance style.Social dancing can be a compromise when partners of extreme differences in dancing style dance together.  One should always be willing to compromise.

 Respect your partner’s level of dancing.If you are the more experienced dancer, compromise by dancing at your partner’s level.

The leader always escorts the follower off the dance floor after the dance.Escort the follower back to the original point of rendezvous, extend your gratitude and walk away gracefully.

Dancing is not a favor you do for someone.The proper response to “thank you” after a dance is “thank you,” not “you’re welcome.”